I’m tired of putting up walls. I want someone with the strength, and the honesty to break them down.

Learn to let go

How does one avoid loss in the first place? Contrary to popular belief, it’s not attachment that causes loss… attachment feels fine. It’s detachment that hurts. Learn to let go.

Some suggest that to avoid loss, one should never be attached to anything. They give the example of a hand in water: when the hand is removed from the water, the hand leaves no impression. These people say the reason the hand leaves no trace in the water is because the water is not attached to the hand.

On the contrary, while the hand is in the water, it is very attached to the hand. It surrounds it, enfolds it, embraces it. Allow yourself to experience life as fully as water experiences the hand, then let go as completely as water.

Yes, the water leaves a little of itself on the departing hand, as we leave a little of ourselves with the people and things we touch, but for the most part, when it comes time to go, let go.

The hand could no more hold the water than the water could hold the hand. As soon as one “wants” to leave, there is no attachment, because there can be no attachment other than the mutual action of being together. Hand and water both accept the inevitability, and part “clean”.

There is a little of a book on raising children we’ve always liked: Hold Them Very Close, and Let Them Go. This we find good advice for all experiences, whatever they may be: Hold them very close, and let them go.

How do you know when it’s time to hold them close? When they’re in front of you (often literally): Whatever is the current experience in your awareness, the next event on your schedule. When is it time to let go? When you’re on your way out or they’re on their way out.

Say good-bye, let go, and embrace the new moment.